Depression: Dealing with a Bad Break Up

Breaking Up is Hard by Siti Fatimah via

The end of a relationship presents a dichotomy of feeling. On one hand, ending a relationship one invested in heavily is something that everyone can sympathize with. We’ve all been there in one way or another.

On the other hand, because relationships are comprised of countless different confluences in the lives of two unique individuals, it’s quite possible that it is painful in a way that only the couple can understand. When depression is added into this already overwhelming mix, it can be crippling.

A lot of times, one can see the symptoms of a troubled relationship beforehand, although to the depressed person it can as if everything was their fault. An article from Salon listing the “signs that depression is affecting your relationship” essentially lists the common situations found in any relationship nearing its end.

Things like being tempted to cheat, having a diminished sex life, and avoiding communication could indeed very well be related to one partner’s depression. However, they could just as likely be signs that the couple just isn’t that into each other anymore.

So the most important thing to look out for when dealing with a bad break-up is to not be so hard on yourself. Depressed or not, we all make choices and mistakes. The resulting consequences are simply the substance of life. Do an honest emotional accounting and actively work on improving yourself. Whatever that might entail, it certainly doesn’t mean that you are unlovable or that everything is your fault.

Another enemy after a break-up is idle time. Looking backwards is healthy and an important part of moving on, but all too often that reflection can spiral out of control. It is important to both stay active outside of the house.

After a break-up, it is not uncommon to find one of your ex’s items lying somewhere forgotten or, even worse, finding the empty spaces where their things once were. Those little markers of their presence in your life simply vanished. There’s only heartache down those familiar roads, so it’s time find a few fresh paths.

Start by going places and doing things that you like to do for yourself. This creates an incentive to take those first steps. Reach out to friends, especially those you may have fallen out of touch with (i.e. your single friends).

Finally, start going to new places, trying new things, and eventually meeting new people. It allows you to get the sense that life does indeed go on, and that there is still a lot out there worth trying.

References: Salon


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