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Is my husband depressed?


The first thing any spouse should know – wife or husband – is that it is unwise and ultimately counterproductive to deal with the depression alone. If one of the spouses is depressed, then the marriage suffers.

Eventually, depression will erode emotional and physical intimacy, rankle the relationship with resentment and jealousy, each partner will become angry and bitter eventually falling into isolation.

Action should be taken as early as possibly because of the potential for deep, irreparable damage. Depressed couples are nine times more likely to divorce.

“There’s a bias that says women get depression more often than men, but it may just be that men don’t ask for help or realize what’s wrong, or respond to depression by abusing alcohol or becoming aggressive or violent,” Emily Scott-Lowe PhD an assistant visiting profess of social work at Pepperdine says. “And often with men, there’s more agitation than lethargy. A man may seem worked up. He may have frenetic, restless energy that doesn’t fit with the typical picture of someone in bed with shades down and the sheets up over their head.”

If you think your partner is depressed, watch for these signs and take steps:
= Are there small changes that don’t see to go away.
= Don’t wait for rock bottom. If you know something is wrong, talk about it and find out what intervention is appropriate.
= Talk gently but firmly. You are concerned first and want to help, but you are not walking away without a plan. Make it clear that you won’t be on the sideline.
= Go together for counseling. Remember it’s the marriage that is suffering and you are both a part of it.
= Be confident that things will get better once you take action. Up to 90% of couples respond well to depression treatment.
= Get educated about the different types of depression and treatments.

Source: Reader’s Digest

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