A Trauma Survivor’s Story: From Anger To Enlightment

This post is an excerpt from Robert Palasciano’s book, From Anger to Enlightment.

Introduction

robert palasciano trauma memoir My name is Robert Julius Palasciano and I was murdered on November 29, 1990, the 333rd day of the year. The following chronicle is a factual account of how I died and journeyed to Heaven, the Most Glorious Place. In Heaven, I met Our Lady of Mercy, who saved me from a tragic death and gave me a wondrous gift with a message. Then She returned me to live once more. This is my story of personal revelation. It’s led me to understand the mystery of why Our Lady saved and sent me back. This book is about the questions we ask of God and why they aren’t answered as quickly and painlessly as we would like them to be. Perhaps, He allows us to endure hatred to understand what love truly is; to bear tremendous pain so we can fathom the ecstasy of life. This story is about faith, lost and found. It’s beautiful but it’s also horrific, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My journey for understanding has taken more than twenty years, and my goal is to share the wisdom I’ve gained to help survivors of traumatic events. I’m not a doctor. I’m an ordinary person who’s experienced extraordinary events. I believe after twenty three years of coping through the various stages of mental trauma, that I’ve developed a certain expertise. I’ve learned how to relieve the pain and suffering that it brings to us. Specifically, I’ve learned how to relieve my powerful negative feelings of guilt and anger. I have also found new weapons against the influences of our devastating nightmares and I’d like to share all that I’ve learned with you. Since I returned from Heaven, more than twenty years ago, I’ve been guided down many tributaries and given many pieces of life changing wisdom. Together these experiences have coalesced into a magnificent understanding of my purpose in life.

If you’re like me, then your mind also suffers from the evil that touched you when you were traumatized by another. Do you experience waking flashbacks and nightmares so vivid that you can’t function during the day as you once did? Does your mental fortitude crumble from even the slightest stress? If so, I invite you to listen to my Survivor’s Story of Faith which has taken me all the way From Anger to Enlightenment.

My journey began twenty three years ago, born of an unsavory encounter with the Olive Skinned Man. For years, I strove to pen my thoughts into a body of work to make sense of it all. Each attempt however, was prejudiced by a caldera of pent up rage festering inside me. My clouded perception corrupted each version and I trashed them, one after another. My purpose and direction weren’t yet clear, until one day.

In 2012, my doctor asked me to host a meeting for a panel of experienced psychiatrists about my experiences with what they call Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. My doctor felt the panel might gain treatment insight from my personal experience with the condition. Naturally, I was dumbfounded. I thought how could a group of distinguished psychiatrists gain any insight into this stress related condition from me? Weren’t they the ones with all the experience and answers? I accepted his invitation hoping I could somehow learn from their combined knowledge and experience. I had no idea it would be the other way around.

On one particular day, I met with the panel of psychiatrists. They asked me many questions about my experiences and how my symptoms have disrupted my once normal life. I explained to them how waking flashbacks feel and how they affect the mind, even hours after the event. I explained how our brutal nightmares and constant state of hyper-vigilance changes how we think and what we feel at the core of our personality. They asked me if faith has helped my recovery in any way. I went on to tell them how faith saved me from death and has been a significant weapon in the defense against this stress related condition.

I have to admit, reliving those stories again was traumatizing. I was cold and sweaty and my heart was pounding furiously. My hands trembled so much I couldn’t even drink a cup of robert palasciano trauma memoirwater without spilling it on myself. Yet despite this obvious downside, there was an equally but less obvious upside. These experienced doctors all told me how astonished they were by my impressive personal perspective. They felt that I explained this condition in a way they have never heard before. In fact, as a result, they suggested that they record our next session for use in training medical residents of trauma patients. They also suggested I lead a support group for trauma victims in the area. It honestly surprised me that these experienced doctors could learn anything from me. At the same time I realized that I could help other survivors of trauma. So began my mission to write a book about how anyone can conquer the degenerative psychological effects of the condition which I call Trauma Induced Stress.

I believe the term Trauma Induced Stress more appropriately describes how we survivors feel. I believe this term removes the negative connotation of the word disorder. We’ve been induced with stress through traumatic events. We didn’t catch this condition; rather it was inflicted on us. Our minds have been induced with stress as a consequence of our own particular brand of trauma. Some survivors experienced these events in a protracted abusive childhood. Other survivors are imposed with this condition because of war or violent crime. In every case of Trauma Induced Stress, something important was torn away from us, which we may never get back. We’ve lost our innocence, our sense of safety, and our belief that we didn’t deserve what came of us. We survivors feared and may continue to fear our own imminent death. Many more of us have lost body parts, the effects of which traumatize us every day.

Any of us may incur this condition by events which may occur from childhood to adulthood. I believe our suffering may be long-lasting, especially if the events were extreme or protracted. When our symptoms hold us down, we feel powerless and alone. Few can understand how we can be so affected by events that took place long ago. Those people expect time to heal our wounds, but it doesn’t. Believe me, I felt just like you for so many years, but a new age has dawned, one of understanding and enlightenment. Despite our daily dose of unwanted guilt, anger, flashbacks, and nightmares, we’ll always remember that we’re survivors before all else. My fellow survivors please understand that you are NOT alone, for we are many and help is here.

This book accepts anger and guilt as a natural consequence of Trauma Induced Stress, and teaches forgiveness as a permanent cure. It’s been twenty three years since my trip to Heaven and my visit with Our Lady of Mercy. I now understand my purpose is to deliver a message. Please listen to these words, because I believe it’s only through God’s love that we will reach this existence in Heaven.  All He asks of us is that we believe in Him and love one another as we would love Him. Through my suffering, I’ve gained a perspective of enlightenment which I must share with other survivors. I know in my heart I was meant to bring peace to those who’ve suffered as I have. I’ll always remember and cherish the time I spent in Heaven, and I’ll never fear death when it comes to me again, for I know that it’s only the beginning. For now, there’s much work to do in this life.

 
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