Anxiety Makes Me Mean

Flickr image by: Sara V.

In this week's podcast we're responding to the following message from our inbox: "I would like to know if you have any suggestions for not being a mean person when you’re anxious. I feel like everything and everyone is against me when I feel anxious. When I finally calm down and think back on things I always feel like I need to apologize for my behavior. I don’t want to leave a trail of broken hearts whenever I have anxiety. Can you help?"


Points covered in this podcast:

Stress and anxiety often have a negative impact on our relationships with others.


What helps?

Get some space, even if it's just for a few minutes, allow yourself some time to retreat and take a deep breath. This is one area where guided meditations or relaxations can really help. With guided audio support you have the opportunity to listen to somebody else talk you down into a calmer state where you can begin to feel more relaxed, supported and safe.

That helps increase your buffer and give you some space between feeling overwhelmed, or provoked and how you need to respond. Just ten minutes can save us from causing harm to others simply because we feel spun out.


When everything becomes too much - we become too much.

Space is key in helping you step down from red alert into a safer place where you can relate with others more sweetly.


Feeling that everything and everyone is against you often comes from overwhelm. It's an extreme stress response where you feel that you have so much coming in and your experiencing so much anxiety that you become overly sensitised and you might begin to feel vulnerable, or even victimised, and start perceiving slights coming at you from all angles.

Try taking a moment to take a deep breath and think about what you are feeling before you respond to others.

We tend to jump to conclusions and, unfortunately, we often jump to the wrong conclusions - especially when we're feeling stressed, or anxious.


Question your thoughts. Look at any big generalisations you're making for example: "Everyone is against me" and ask yourself. Is this really true? Can I think of one person who loves and accepts me, one person who supports me?

A stressed mind is quick to jump to the conclusion that "everyone is against me" or "everything is going wrong for me" - questioning such assumptions and allowing yourself some space are two acts of self kindness that will help you feel more secure and settled and give pause foe thought before you react.




Some Bach Flower Remedies that can help:

Holly for feeling suspicious, and very sensitive to real or imagined slights. If someone feels or unworthy of love Holly can help. It also helps with anger, our sudden outbursts of ill humour.

Impatiens - for feeling impatient or irritable.

White Chestnut - for looping unwanted thoughts and preoccupation with some worry or mental argument - especially helpful before sleep.

Willow - if you're feeling victimised. Sometimes we all feel a bit sorry for ourselves, the key words for willow are "poor me". 

Elm - for feeling overwhelmed - when everything is too much and you struggle to keep your head above water.


Bach Flower Remedies are available in most health food stores, or online from Nelsons and Amazon.

For more details on how to use them please see: The Bach Flower Website




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