Finding Mr./Ms. Right?

Whatever you might think of "love at first sight", finding a relationship and making it work is never easy.   

While countless movies, television shows, and romance novels help convey the idea that romantic love and a fulfilling sex life are easy to maintain when your romantic partner is "the one", the reality is very different.  Part of the problem rests in the unrealistic expectations conveyed by popular media which can often lead to disappointment and frustration when real life doesn't measure up.  

According to C. Raymond Knee of the University of Houston, success in romantic relationships often depends on the implicit theories that we may have about romantic love.  Implicit theories deal with the underlying beliefs and biases that can influence how we interact with the world.  Concerning relationships for example, there can be two types of implicit theories:  relationship destiny beliefs and relationship growth beliefs.  Relationship destiny focuses on the idea that people can be truly "meant" for one another and that key to a satisfying relationship rests with finding the right partner or "soulmate".   On the other hand, people believing in relationship growth, while recognizing that the relationship they happen to be in isn't perfect, are willing to expend the time and effort needed to develop and strengthen this relationship over time.

To read more, check out my new Psychology Today blog post.


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