PTSD Recovery Tip: Get Rid Of (Some of) Your Friends

Recovery from trauma takes a lot of effort and commitment on your part. Effort that requires energy, focus and support. Every survivor I’ve ever met who’s moved through the recovery process has a Frenemy story: a story about someone he or she thought was a friend who turned out to be a real enemy in the recovery process.

There are many reasons why friends get lost along the route to wellness. Some reasons are:

  1. people don’t always understand (or are willing to understand) PTSD and the recovery process
  2. people like you when you’re miserable (hint: it makes them feel better about themselves)
  3. people prefer you when you’re weak and powerless (hint: you’re easier to manipulate this way)
  4. you need them when you’re struggling
  5. they like the drama your unrest creates

I could go on and on here. The fact is, while much of this is good for them, none of this is good for you!

Recovery means taking a good long look at your friends and deciding: are they friends to your recovery (they support and help you 100%) or are they enemies, sucking your energy, making you feel badly about yourself and making your recovery process more stressed than it needs to be?

It’s very easy to spot the difference between friends and enemies: who do you feel good around? Check in with your intiution, get the answer and then — trust it! You already know who’s good for you and who’s bad, your job now is to act on it.

As tough as it is to let go of old, comfortable and familiar relationships, think of how much better your life will be (and what great new friends you’ll make) when you have overcome PTSD and are free to live the life you’d really choose.

This week on YOUR LIFE AFTER TRAUMA Radio:

Talking about how to love others, and most importantly yourself, after trauma, my next guests are Marci Shimoff (co-author of many of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books), and Dr. Jen Nardozzi, eating disorder specialist at the Renfrew Center.

Listen live to Your Life After TraumaFor more info and to listen live, click here.

Want ideas about how to deal with depression, change, and healing? Want to know how to find treatments that work and proof that your past can be overcome? 

Listen to past episodes of YOUR LIFE AFTER TRAUMA here.


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