Recovery Tip: Be Less Rigid!

Over and over and I hear (and I have to admit, I did this myself) this phrase: “Because it has to be that way!”
 
Really? How true is that?
 
There are very few things that have to be exactly as we imagine them. Many things can be perfectly perfect in 1,000 different ways.
 
The problem is that we think they have to be a certain way. I’ll give you an example:
 
In my recovery I began a strict (are you already hearing the problem develop?) bedtime. I absolutely, positively had to be in bed by 11pm. Years of insomnia had brought about exhaustion, plus erratic bedtimes. Everything I learned in recovery, however, spoke to structure. So, I decided to go structure all the way!
 
Life, however, needs a little flexibility. Sometimes, due to events or other circumstances, I missed the 11pm bedtime — this brought on a flurry of anxiety. To combat the anxiety, I began rearranging not only my own schedule, but that of everyone around me so that I could make the 11pm deadline. (Hint: People don’t like that!) If I couldn’t rearrange everyone and everything to fit into the box I’d drawn for myself, I was frantic, angry and despondent.
 
I learned that it’s great to have structure — skyskcrapers have structure — but we also have to be flexible. Skyscrapers are built to flex in the wind and earthquakes. You, too, have to know when structure is right, and when to be less rigid, more flexible so that you flow with instead of against the world around you.
 
What areas in your life do you see yourself being rigid? What one change can you make to become more flexible?
 

This Week on YOUR LIFE AFTER TRAUMA Radio:

I’ll be interviewing Sean Greene, personal injury attorney. We’ll be talking about how you (and your family) can and should approach a personal injury case, plus Sean’s own family trauma that motivated him to do the work he does.

For more info and to listen live, click here.

Want ideas about how to deal with depression, change, and healing? Want to know how to find treatments that work and proof that your past can be overcome? Listen to past episodes of YOUR LIFE AFTER TRAUMA here.

 
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