Surviving Depression and Death of a Loved One

Today the Bipolar Burble is pleased to welcome author and speaker Hyla Molander. Hyla talks today about how she survived the death of her husband while already dealing with depression. Hyla is currently working on a memoir about her experiences. Check out her Kickstarter campaign.

Taking Zoloft throughout my second pregnancy was a decision my husband, Erik, and I made together. We'd sat with the genetic counselor and had come to the conclusion that my mental stability far outweighed the risks for the baby.

Of course, this was ten years ago—long before there was research on how Zoloft affects the foetus.

I’d been on and off of antidepressants for almost a decade. During those off times, I'd snap at Erik.  “Quit touching me. Quit telling me how great you think I am.”

After I repeatedly tried to sabotage our relationship, we finally agreed that I should stay on my meds. Popping that pill meant choosing happiness.

Depression and Death

Then, on Easter Sunday, 2003—a day that had begun with Erik and I discussing how blessed we were—our 17 month old daughter and I watched as he slid down the kitchen counter and died.

At 29 years old, Erik's heart flicked off like a switch.

 
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